I just saw Judd Apatow's newest: "Knocked Up." It's really good, but I've also just recently finished watching "Freaks and Geeks" again on DVD, and I think there's something really good here (obviously). He manages to really mix emotion and comedy and come off poignant, something all too rare in modern cinema.

I think. I don't know


I've been trying to connect it with the Virginia Tech shooting today, because learning about (or empathizing with) each I got the same terrified emotion. Hearing about the shooting I realized how easy it would be for something like that to happen on my own campus, and that all of the rationale I might later (objectively) apply would go out the window, and I'd just stand like a deer in the headlights.

Which is, of course, true if I were to have a baby with somebody I didn't know. Or even somebody I did. The same gut-feeling of being too young to be involved in something so big struck me.

I wonder if that ever goes away. if we ever feel satisfied with the "work" that we've "done." I reckon not, of course, but does it ever get less fragile?




One of my best friends crashed his bike and has a broken clavicle. had a couple of cars not swerved out of the way he could be dead now. I wonder what that's like, the feeling that a split-second can save you. I mean, I guess we're all a split second away, and that that's how it works abd you just don't worry about it, but every now and then it turns the other way.

I got pretty terrified today.